Old Normal

People often ask me how things are going with Jonah and what he is up to. My answer typically involves telling them about his latest tricks, cute things he's doing, or whatever is normal for him at the moment. I recently realized how much that answer has changed over the past eleven months. A baby's "normal" changes so quickly and, as a stay-at-home-mom, I barely notice, because it is also my normal. Sure, I keep track of the big changes: new teeth, new foods, crawling, etc. But it would be so difficult to keep track of the big picture on a calendar, so I haven't. I can't look back and tell you what a typical day or week was like when he was three or seven months old. I wish I could. Those non-momentous occasions are just as important as the first time he tried mangos or started rolling over. So I will start now. (I will try not to regret starting this when Jonah is eleven months old, instead of when he was a newborn.) This will not be a daily record, or things would be too much the same every time. At most it will be weekly, and more likely monthly.

This first post will be an effort to capture some of his previous "normals," to catch up to where we are now, at eleven months old. There are a lot of details that I don't remember from those early weeks and months (Thank you, lack of sleep). I remember commenting during the first couple of months, that I was surprised at how well I could function (or think I was functioning) on 3-4 hours of sleep. Jonah had trouble breastfeeding in the beginning, so just feeding him literally took about 8 hours a day. He was a reasonably good sleeper in the beginning though, and slept through the night fairly early on. Then he started screaming in the middle of the night and we'd put the pacifier back in his mouth. He'd sleep a little more and then scream again. This would continue until the morning. So we thought, "maybe he's hungry. But not hungry enough to wake all the way up." So I tried feeding him. Sure enough, he slept the rest of the night without screaming and even slept later than usual. Since July, he has been waking up around 4:00 or 5:00 most mornings, wanting to eat. The pediatrician says this is normal for a breastfed infant. So I feed him. Jonah had a cold in October and was waking up in the middle of the night with that. Nothing would console him, except eating. So I fed him. Since then, he also wakes up around midnight most nights, wanting to eat. The pediatrician says that he shouldn't need to eat then, and that we should get him to stop. We tried. We failed. So I feed him.

While I do miss getting more than a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, I don't mind that much. The times we have tried not to feed him around midnight, he either screams until we give in, or Peter goes in to comfort him, which makes Jonah scream even louder. I know that eventually he will sleep through the night again. So for now, I try not to be too bothered by it, and cherish that time with him. After he eats, I hold him for a few minutes and let him digest. He usually falls asleep eating, and it's a really sweet time with him. My hope is that once we start weaning him from breastfeeding, he will sleep through the night. Hopefully.

Another thing that used to be normal was cooing. When Jonah was five weeks old, he started cooing. He would look at us and say "oooo" and "ah-goo." Sometimes his eyes would get watery and I would tell myself that it was because he was filled with love for us. I absolutely loved the cooing. It was definitely one of my favorite parts of being a mom. Then it stopped. I don't know exactly when it stopped. I just realized one day that he didn't coo any more. And I missed it. He had moved on to other exciting tricks, like laughing. But he didn't coo. I am sad that I didn't realize how quickly it would stop.

Other changes: Jonah used to love ceiling fans. We noticed this at about seven weeks. He certainly stills likes them, but they don't mesmerize him in quite the same way. He started laughing around ten weeks old. I have been surprised by how much his laugh has changed over these months. He sounds so much more grown up now. Jonah started babbling between six and seven months. He has gotten more and more vocal and has expanded his "vocabulary."

It used to be normal for him to just breastfeed. Now he eats solid food too. While it's exciting for him to eat all of these new foods, it was certainly easier when he was just breastfeeding. Feeding him solids has been the area of parenting in which I feel least competent. I try to follow the guidelines that are out there about spacing out new foods so that you can see if he has an allergic reaction. We have slowly introduced finger foods. He's doing a great job and likes a wide variety of foods. I think if he were the only baby around, I would feel more confident. But I hear about other babies eating things he hasn't or starting finger foods younger, and it makes me feel like I'm doing it wrong, even if I'm following what the "experts" say. I don't know why this one aspect stresses me out, but I know that Jonah is eating plenty and I don't think it will affect his development if he eats table food later than other babies.

That's probably enough of Jonah's "old normal" for now. I'm sure I will remember more about how things used to be as I start to write about how he is now.